Janta Dal (United), in a high voltage meeting at Patna, has unanimously passed a resolution to set up an Institute for excellence in Research & Certification in Advanced Secularism. The proposal was tabled by none other than Nitish Kumar and consented by every member of the party amid vociferous support by Ali Anwar. Mr Shivanand Tiwari, who has had an experience of working with the two most self-proclaimed secular parties of India, i.e RJD & JDU, has been appointed the director of the Institute. It is to be noted that all permanent staff vacancies at the university is to be filled by JDU cadre. The decision saw party leaders scurrying with expectations eyeing coveted vacancies of professors at the university.
Meanwhile, Lalu Yadav has claimed that this institute was his brainchild and that Nitishwa has stolen his idea. The RJD supremo said, "Nitish Kumar is a du-muhwa saanp. I had once shared this concept with Sharad Yadav & Nitish Kumar when we were together in erstwhile Janta Dal. This Nitishwa is a thug."
The Institute of excellence would boast of a signature crash course which surprisingly claims to make a person secular in only 24 hours. The centre for research will also measure the changing secular perception index of an individual or organisation on a weekly basis.
Speaking during the high voltage event, Sharad Yadav in his inimitable Dilip Kumar style said, “Secularism is a very vast subject & this university is our gift to the next generation. Bihar has historically been a paragon of secularism and we are committed to carry that journey ahead."
Addressing the media, party Spokesperson & would-be director Mr Shivanand Tiwari said, “I am highly emotional at this recognition and honour. It has been JDU's endeavour to inculcate the tenets of secularism in one and all, be it at a cost of dividing societies on caste lines. This is one such step in that direction.” On being asked why they were with the BJP for 13 long years & furthermore, even after the Gujarat riots, he replied with a sense of dejection, “We took on the mantle to bring the BJP on a secular track and clean national politics but our efforts have gone futile. Now that they are adamant to be communal we have snapped all ties with the RSS affiliated party.”
The Janta Institute of Advanced Secularism would come up at Nitish Kumar’s native village Kalyan Bigha, 4kms from Harnaut in Nalanda distt of Bihar. Our sources are expecting surprises in naming of the guest faculty at the centre for certification. Meanwhile, some unconfirmed sources claim Digvijay Singh to be a front runner for the position.
The move by JDU has been welcomed by none other than our man of few words, Mr Manmohan Singh. In a surprise gesture the PM opened his mouth & said, “Mr Nitish Kumar is a secular leader !"
In the mean time, an empowered team of JDU led by party president Sharad Yadav has decided to award their first ever Certificate of Secularism to Mr Lal Krishna Advani for his relentless efforts in combating communal powers.